So you're doing New Year's Eve. You're heading out to own the town/endure the amateurs. Only problem is you don't yet know what to do. We're here to help.
Your best bet is to see live music. Why? Because that way you arrive at your designated spot early, camp out with your booze and your friends among a crowd of likeminded revelers, and slowly build up to the countdown. No hustling from bar to bar, hoping for a Lyft that never comes, on the sidewalk outside some bar or show or other thing once midnight strikes. Instead you ring in 2017 with that secret dance move you've been saving for a special occasion. And when it's over after midnight, you can go home knowing you did the damn thing the way it was meant to be done.
Here are Seattle's most kickass music events happening on Saturday night, listed in no particular order.
SNAP! '90s Dance Party
Remember "The Power" by Snap? Euro-inflected hip-hop; '90s dance music at its finest. Expect those kinda hi-NRG vibes when some of our favorite city DJs, including AC Lewis, Introcut, and the Trashy Trash crew take over the Crocodile tonight.
You've been waiting all year to bust out that leather top hat, aviator goggles and bustier, and tonight's the night. Beats Antique brings Burning Man off the playa and the burlesque show out of the dive bar and puts it front and center at Showbox SODO.
Bread & Butter, Great Spiders, Head Band
All year long, we've loved Bread & Butter for their good-natured good-time vibes. The band brings the vintage riffage and classic songwriting style of Aerosmoth and Tom Petty into the world-weary '10s without a whiff of irony or angst. It's a beautiful thing, and it'll be even more beautiful at the Sunset alongside a couple other killer Seattle rock bands.
Seattle Symphony: The Classic Sound of Motown
If there was ever gonna be boogeying at Benaroya Hall, tonight's the night. Motown is the ultimate crowd pleaser, and with a couple powerhouse vocalists joining the Seattle Symphony, there's no way you can go wrong with this show. Especially if you do the right thing and spend an extra minute getting properly dressed for the occasion.
Hell's Belles and Black Sabbitch
Look, you're never gonna see AC/DC and Black Sabbath together in concert. How about seeing something even better: Youthful, energized tribute bands playing the hits from those classic bands with a vigor and sense of humor that the originals could never muster. Also, those tribute bands are comprised entirely of women. Hence the names of the hilarious, raucous idolators taking over the Showbox tonight.
Dance Yourself Clean
The longrunning dance night at Chop Suey is an homage to the classic LCD Soundsystem song. Expect to hear it and more '00s indie-dence jams tonight during the New Year's installment of one of Seattle's most diverse, inclusive, fun-loving parties.
Your other option if you're looking for hyper-talented women playing ovaries-to-the-wall rock n roll (see above for Hell's Belles). Thunderpussy plays originals, however—the kind of blue-riffing, sky-grabbing, high-fiving rock music that the likes of AC/DC pioneered. But you've never seen Brian Johnson and Angus Young bust a dual back-bend split like Thunderpussy's Molly Sides and Whitney Pettey. They take over Neumos for their second-annual New Year's Eve run. Saturday night is sold out but tickets remain for the Friday warmup.
Black Umbrella New Year's Eve
2016 was another heavy year for the Black Umbrella crew, who saw big singles and videos drop from feel-good hip-hopper Sam Lachow and moody mastermind Raz Simone. Those two headline tonight's hip-hop celebration at the Neptune, backed by City Arts Best New Music cover star Romaro Franceswa, Malitia Malimob, King Leez, Fatal Lucciauno and Jake Crocker. This one's strictly for the heads.